Well, this is a post about the money issue again. I believe the money issue has become one of the worst thing I would ever escaped from. As I am growing older and older, money issue may upset me more than now.
I am not sure if others are sensitive to money but I think I am. Once I heard about money, my anxiety and anger level will shoot up immediately. I really hate talking about MONEY, especially with my mum.
I was reminding my sister to bring back some macadamia nuts from Australia as my aunt has been asking me about that more than hundred times (errrm, too exaggerating). My mum then kept telling us not to buy since no one at home will eat it and so it will be wasted. After hang up, I told her that the nuts are for auntie and not for her and then she started to muttering about the money issue. She said we have been spending too much money and were so willing to buy stuffs. She said I didn't even consider well when I bought something, for examples, the bag that cost RM230 where I got it from Charles and Keith. She also said that she would consider a lot when buying the bags she likes. Well, yes, she is, consider a lot while buying but she is still buying. She also told me that, I should consider paying my own school fees since I am working now, with the salary of RM1000 per month (Well said!). Do you not think that I am making a choice too while making purchase decisions?
Okay. Here I am to declare myself.
I know that you and dad have been living frugally in order to send us overseas for studying. I wonder you know that I am saving the money on my own while you are saving yours. Do you know that I also considered about 2 weeks to get that bag since it is out of my budget? Do you think that I never think about paying the school fees or use my own money while in the UK? Do you know that the money I spent while both of you are not around is my own money (Okay, maybe you will think that is yours money)?
I don't think I should tell you about this since you won't get it now and in the future. You will still think that: wow, spending money in such a generous way, because you haven't got the burden yet.
You are the only one who think of that but I am not. I have my own burden and stress too. Just like my last post, I am stressed out by the large amount of money that you both invested on me. I don't know what to do at the moment but just hope that I can get a good grade to prove myself that I do not waste your money. You don't know how hard is that. You said you felt hard while being the financial support of me and my sis. I cannot deny that because I know that is really really hard. Money spent on our education could have let you both travel around the whole world but then there were all spent on our education.
Some of my friends who are not studying and has been working for years have got their own car and some even got their first RM10, 000 in their life. This makes me think that I am too useless. I am neither an expertise on a particular area, nor a talented girl. Not tall and not pretty enough to become a model or celebrities, academic performance is bad as well. So, what can I do in the future? I keep asking myself. I also want to earn as much money as I can to payback you all. I even want to earn more than now you earn.
Others are telling you to take over your business. I hope I can too but I am wondering about my ability. I wonder if I have sufficient social skills and ability to do well. The business is like your second child, how can I destroy it? It is so unbearable.
As there is a Chinese idioms which is related to the money: 谈钱伤感情 (relationship killer = money). This is so true.
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